Life Advice
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When the Neighbor's Mess Becomes Your Problem
Dear Annie: I have lived in my house for more than 40 years. In all that time, I have done my best to be a good neighbor. I am not the type to throw block parties or socialize regularly, but I have always made a point to wave, say hello and keep a friendly atmosphere on our street. Until recently, that was enough to maintain a peaceful, ...Read more
Wedding Invitation Comes With An Unexpected Condition
DEAR ABBY: I have a special-needs son and cannot travel with him alone. I have also been in a committed relationship for two years. When my aunt's youngest daughter got married last year, I clearly stated that I would not be able to attend because of these limitations. Now her son is getting married. The family sent out an electronic invitation ...Read more
Asking Eric: Husband’s pouting keeps couple trapped
Dear Eric: I'm not happy where we live and want to move to be closer to my family. My parents are in good health now, but I’m concerned I don’t have much time left with them. However, I know if I tell my husband my feelings in wanting to move it will devastate him because this is the first time in my husband's life that he's actually enjoyed...Read more
Sibling Dislikes The Way Sister Is Parenting Her Kids
DEAR HARRIETTE: I don't think my sister and brother-in-law are doing a good job of raising their two daughters, who are 10 and 12. Whenever I visit, I notice the girls are often left to their own devices with little guidance or discipline. They talk back to adults, spend hours glued to their phones or tablets, and don't seem to have boundaries ...Read more
Constant Requests For Feedback Are Exhausting
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it wrong not to give feedback?
I am expected to "like," whether virtually or in person, every little thing seen, done or eaten by my friends. Every item I buy and every service I use, I am asked, "How're we doing?"
I don't mind this if I have a real opinion, good or bad. But for most of it, I just don't give a (bleep).
...Read more
Shifting the Blame
Dear Annie: I often see letters in your column from mothers-in-law with various complaints about their daughters-in-law. The themes are familiar: "She never invites me to activities." "She doesn't take pictures of me with the baby." "She won't let me see my grandchild."
What I find myself wondering is: Why is all of the frustration directed ...Read more
Young Child Has Front-Row Seat In Abusive Marriage
DEAR ABBY: My best friend "Pat" and I live on opposite sides of the country. I am very concerned about Pat's daughter and granddaughter, "Mandy." Pat's son-in-law is verbally abusive. He calls Pat's daughter names and tells Mandy that Mommy is bad. Mandy is only 3 and already knows she has to be nice to Daddy so he doesn't yell at Mommy.
Pat's ...Read more
Millennial Life: How About We Just Try Doing It Right
There's a difference between doing something and doing it right. You can check a box, sign your name, make the announcement, and hold the press conference. But that's not the same as solving a problem. And too often these days, we're watching leaders choose the performance of action over the practice of responsibility.
Doing it right doesn't ...Read more
Asking Eric: Father fears daughter has fallen for a player
Dear Eric: I have a wonderful relationship with both of my adult children. My son is married with a family. My daughter is divorced with a teenage son, and I'm very concerned about her. She has had no luck dating because, I feel, she is attracted to the wrong kind of man (players).
She finally met a man of suitable age who, at first, seemed to...Read more
The Scent of Honesty
Dear Annie: I used to really enjoy my job. Then came my new cubicle mate. She is perfectly nice, friendly, polite, even funny, but she also has body odor so powerful it could knock over a houseplant. Our desks are only five feet apart, which means I spend eight hours a day marinating in her scent cloud. By mid-morning, my stomach is churning, ...Read more
Friends' Holiday Card Never Includes Wife In The Address
DEAR ABBY: Every year like clockwork, we receive a holiday card from friends, which the wife addresses only to my husband. It is always a jolly card filled with their family adventures and achievements for the year, and it invariably leaves me wondering why she thinks it's OK to leave me off the envelope. My husband and I have been together for ...Read more
Asking Eric: New boyfriend vows to keep cheating
Dear Eric: After a lifetime of making bad choices in a husband and later boyfriends, I gladly embraced the single life and have been fully content and even joyful.
A few months ago, at age 70, I attended a dear friend’s memorial service. As I started to leave, I had a flash of connection as my eyes met those of my friend’s now-widower who I...Read more
Matriarch Prays For Daughter-In-Law To Be Nicer
DEAR HARRIETTE: At the end of the summer, I went back home to celebrate my mom's birthday. Since I got married and moved, I don't get to see my family as often, so I was looking forward to the quality time. We all got together at my parents' house -- my siblings, their families, my wife and me -- for dinner and some fun. During the opening ...Read more
Gift Recipients Shouldn't Grouse
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I no longer give big birthday or holiday gifts. I do this because a family member died after I had purchased his Christmas gift.
Instead, I give gifts irregularly throughout the year, as I make or come across something that a person will like. I might also repair something for them as a gift, or shovel their snow. Once, I ...Read more
Protecting What's Private
Dear Annie: My husband and I have a large family, and earlier this year we welcomed our newest baby, "Izzy." The pregnancy went smoothly, and everyone thought she was healthy until about half a week after coming home, when she began showing concerning symptoms. We've been working closely with her doctor ever since and recently learned she has ...Read more
Woman's Coarse Language Doesn't Sit Well With Longtime Friend
DEAR ABBY: When my lifelong friend "Cheryl" and I would talk once a week to catch up with each other's lives, she'd describe her other friends' woes in a really animated way, including a loud voice and extremely vulgar words about those friends. She even talked about her recently departed mother this way. Her mother had not been part of her life...Read more
Asking Eric: Freeloading friend hasn’t paid for lunch in a decade
Dear Eric: I have a friend who has moved several states away but comes back to visit at least once a year. She has many friends in this area, and I know she is busy trying to fit us all into her schedule. When she and I meet for lunch at a local higher end restaurant, we have a couple of drinks, and she always orders steak. We’ve been doing ...Read more
New Employee Wants More Guidance
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just started my new job, and my boss has given me little guidance. When I reach out with questions, the responses are either short, vague or delayed. I was expecting some kind of structured onboarding or training, or at least regular check-ins to help me transition smoothly, but that hasn't happened. Most days I'm left trying ...Read more
Can We All Stop Comparing Weights?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: In 2011, I had weight loss surgery. It was very successful, and I've managed to keep the weight off. Of course, a lot of people think I "took the easy way" to lose weight, but surgery is not a miracle cure, just a tool.
My best friend has a slight weight problem, or at least she believes she does. I sure don't see her as ...Read more
Feeling Unsafe in Your Own Space
Dear Annie: A set of neighbors used to live across the street from me. When they did, I thought they were really nice, but I found out later -- too late -- that they were meth addicts who stole anything that wasn't nailed down, including from me. I discovered they would watch when I'd leave and go into my house. I'm 74 and from the era when we...Read more
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